Breastfeeding, Parenting

My love-hate relationship with comfort latching

[By Big C]

My knowledge about breastfeeding grew tremendously from Big E to Small E.

Back then when I was pregnant with Big E, I only depended on some Apps to track the weeks and most knowledge about pregnancy, childbirth and newborn were taught by the KKH docs and Nurses.

I know breastfeeding is great! But I saw how my Sister-in-law insist on exclusive breastfeeding to the stage where her boy turned green from jaundice. He cried day and night for many days and it turned out that he was just hungry.

So when Big E arrived, I did mixed feeding. I felt that I wouldn’t have time to slow down the production by the time I return to work. I wasn’t confident of the bottle training too.

I was afraid of having her stuck to the boob!

Eventually I managed to give her breastmilk she was 13 months. But of course the volume was from 99% bm till the 5ml… haha yes even when I had such Low yield, I still pumped.

I wasn’t planning to be an exclusive pumping mum and she actually latches on very well. Even the nurses praised her.

But I stopped latching her after 3 months because she was fussing and turning her head and hurting me too much.

I felt it was better for both of us that we just continue with bottle. BM is BM regardless how the baby drinks it.

Then Small E came along and this time, I had extensive knowledge (theory) about breastfeeding and all the hacks and problems with pumping or latching.

Then I became a pro at latching anywhere anytime with Small E!

In fact we were so good and comfortable that we even did live demonstration of latching at a breastfeeding seminar! Read about it here.

Small E is now 2 years old (like 25 months old) and he is still enjoying his comfort latching.

He was exclusively breastfed for more than a year. He was bottle fed in school with ebm and latched on before / after school and night.

I feel so blessed to be able to latch him especially in the middle of the night because he is always impatient for his milk!

Latching was more convenient than trying to make a bottle of formula milk in his case!

I am also blessed that he could take to the bottle easily (we used Pigeon PPSU with Peristaltic PLUS teats in Size SS then S) and still latch like a pro.

But breastfeeding, regardless the pumping or the latching was tough!

I had my days of wanting to just sleep but I will get Super engorged. I had my days of not wanting him to touch my swollen nipples again! I had my days of milk bleb that hurts so much when I tried to pump to clear. I had my days of deep blockage (there was still a lot of milk expressed!) and the massage to clear was awfully pain! So pain that I really thought let’s just stop this whole breastfeeding business.

But here I am after 2 years, though not exclusive breastfeeding all the way, we are still doing it!

Now the issue is with comfort latching!

At this stage, he is taking solids and his formula milk and with minimal milk coming from me, I am hoping to wean him off the boobs.

But he is not giving it up! He chooses between latching and bottle depending on if he is really hungry or he just wanna comfort latch.

I had times where the latching really makes me feel irritated! I don’t know why but I feel like pushing him away!

It’s difficult too when he is no longer that baby size and he fights to latch in public. When he was younger, I could at least carry and latch.

And during times where he refuses to let go and his teeth is hurting me or when he dozes off and somehow decides to clench his jaws tight.

Yet I am happy to know that latching him can help him sleep more easily especially when he is going cranky! Especially during times when he is unwell…

So on one hand, I wish he would just wean himself off but on the other hand, I wish I could continue to use this sure-win method to get him to doze off…

Dilemma dilemma dilemma…

Do you have a love-hate relationship with your boob and comfort latching too? Comment below or drop me an email to share!

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