Open letter to my first born at 6 years old

[By Big C]

Image by Bruno Glätsch from Pixabay

Dear Big E,

It has been an amazing 6 years and I can see many wonderful and magical years ahead of us.

But I really wanted to mark this milestone with this letter to you so that some years down the road, when we are screaming into each other’s face, we have this to remind us of our bestie friendship!

First of all, mummy wants to say sorry!

Sorry that I brought you into this big big world without any choice of yours.

Sorry that I am never 100% of the mum I wish I am for you.

Sorry for the times that I am not with you, especially when you needed me the most.

Sorry for all the yells and screams and tears between us.

Sorry that I cannot or didn’t always put you in my top top priority.

Sorry that at times, I forget that you are just a little child.

Sorry for having to say sorry.

And many many more sorry…

Next, I want to say thank you!

Thank you for growing up into such a fine young lady!

Thank you for all the mummy mummy nummy calls!

Thank you for being such a wonderful sister to Small E!

Thank you for making me feel perfect and accepted!

Thank you for seeing me as your world!

Thank you for looking up to me and sharing everything you’ve learnt and experienced!

Thank you for forgiving me and my “Hulk” moments!

And so much more thank you…

And here’s what I will always remember…

I remember how you like to curl to the right of my tummy and even during labour, you keep hiding in that corner! It was more than 12 hours of hiding before you decide to see the world!

I remember how beautiful I thought you were the moment you arrived, especially those eyes! And from that moment on, I vow to only wish for your happiness and health. Nothing else matters more than that! To hell with academic excellence…

I remember your little hands and feet, how they would smack and kick during milk feeds, playtime and sleep… and how you like to lay them on me somehow..

I remember how you would sleep in my arms, through the healthy days and the not-so-healthy ones. I carried you and slept while sitting up. I wake every few hours to set up the nebulizer for you. I stayed up just to stare at how adorable you are…

I remember how you fight to be independent in almost everything! You are always so determined to do it right by yourself and refusing any help from us or the teachers.

I remember how you would say “Thank you mummy for….” without any prompting… that hug and that appreciative voice.. you have no idea how much that means to me…

I remember how you smile, laugh, jump, run whenever you see me during pick-up times in school! From toddler till now, just the same!

I remember your thunderous laughter and cheeky pranks, your gentle touches, your playful smacks and your loving hugs & kisses.

I remember everything about you before and will remember everything about you from now…

With love,
from your mummy of 6 years

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