[By Big C]
It was in August 2014 when Big E was around 18 months old that I realised I was pregnant.
I remember it was around my birthday and I had fainting spells. My period was late and I just had this hunch. To be honest, many of the hunch did turn out to be just menstrual symptoms.
I didn’t want to push myself too much just in case I was really pregnant and so I bought the home pregnancy kit and tested it right in a public toilet.
Double line! Yes!
I was both happy and worried as my hubby and I were in self employed status at that point and I worry about how we are going to cope financially. Besides, will I be able to manage both Big E and my freelance work and this pregnancy?
But of course, the worries are nothing compared to the joy of expecting another precious baby!
So the process started!
- Blood test at GP – just to be triple sure that I am indeed pregnant and have a gauge of how many weeks along I am
- See a doc at the Polyclinic to get referral to KKH – Big E was also born in KKH under subsidy. Only through referral from Polyclinic would make us eligible!
- Wait for the First appointment at KKH – during this appointment, they will usually do a dating scan for foetus to estimate the EDD and get mummies to start on folic acid
At the first appointment
Based on the blood test and my LMP (first day of my last menstrual period), I was supposed to be 6 weeks.
During the scan, the sonographer was describing what she saw. There was the water bag and the yolk sac. “That’s great! I am indeed pregnant!” I thought to myself.
Then there was silence and continued scanning. Finally she said that she couldn’t detect the fetal pole Nor heartbeat yet but it may be too early. The doctor will explain more.
I wasn’t too worried because I felt indeed this is early! I had my first appointment for Big E only at 10 weeks.
So an appointment was arranged for the following week.
At the second appointment
Once again, I reported to the sonographer and I was still not too worried. In fact was looking forward to some growth!
And again, there wasn’t anything to be seen. Again, it could be still early.
This time, I could sense something might be amiss but they are taking it in positive light.
At the third appointment
This time, sonographer announced that she think she found the fetal pole! A Teeny weeny one! I know she tried so hard. Trying all angles. I felt a sense of relief too! And another appointment was made for following week to check if heartbeat could be seen.
I actually starting to Google for fetal pole size VS gestational age because I wonder if LMP could have been that off. But I didn’t dare Nor want to think of the worst.
At the fourth appointment
There was screaming silence during the scan and then Nothing! The fetal pole that was seen last week is nowhere to be seen now.
Finally the doc said that it is likely a miscarriage because no fetal pole can be found. She suggested that I could either take a blood test for hCG level and see if it is decreasing or I could come back on the following week to check if the water bag shrinks.
Thinking back, I think doc was pretty sure that it was a miscarriage but she just didn’t want to be too harsh.
Every night, I was on Google trying to see what chance do I have and if it was never meant to be, what are my next steps. I didn’t want to be caught off guard and have a total meltdown.
At the fifth appointment
The sonographer quietly jot down a few stuff on the scan sheet and told me the doc will explain.
Doc confirmed that it was a miscarriage because the waterbag has started to shrink and still nothing else other than yolk sac can be seen.
There was no tears.
I asked doc for the next steps and what are the options. I know from my Google research that it was probably a natural expulsion or a D&C procedure.
I knew I didn’t want the natural way because I wanted a closure. I needed a fast closure because I have no time and no chance to mope around and wait for it to happen. I was still Mum to Big E.
All this while, hubby was behind me quietly waiting.
Eventually I decided that yes I will get admitted on the same day because it was a Thursday and I will need to stay for observation for at least 24hrs after the procedure. I didn’t want to be away from Big E during the weekend and I thought it would be easier if she is off to childcare while I am in the hospital.
Read on about My miscarriage : The procedure…
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